TDH Part 6: What Defines "Rif-Raf" in WoW

As we last left our guild, we had survived our first exposure with "drama". We had also just begun to implement some more rigorous recruiting standards. Though draconian, we felt that the stringent dual criteria of being able to type in at least broken English while also being a mammal would ensure a higher standard of recruit. In all seriousness, we were indeed starting to quality control a little better. As I would soon learn, weather or not someone could get along with me was not always the best indication of if they would fit in the guild or not: The organization had developed a culture that wasn't a carbon copy of my own personality.

I recruited a friendly player named Tikatu into the guild. I had seen him around the server often and we had gotten to chatting occasionally. He had an off-color sense of humor, to say the least. This didn't really bother me at all, (at one point in college I'd gotten into a "most offensive concept" competition, which will remain unwritten) but other people were not so understanding. We were left with a situation in which he would push the limits of what I found objectionable in guild chat. If he went to far, I would remind him that there were women and children present. This in turn created a running "family chat" gag.

unfortunately, what this meant for people who had a lower tolerance for juvenile humor, was that they were almost always being exposed to more than they would like to deal with. In retrospect, clearly my comfort zone was both higher and lower than other guild members.

Now, a guild is a very fluid environment compared to say, a job. People have a sense of social obligation to stay, but not any sort of enduring financial commitment. This means that as soon as players are pushed out of their comfort zone, be in emotionally or whatever, they will leave the guild.

Since I tolerated Tikatu's off-color humor, I inadvertently selected away from those who did not. Several more people left, including the remainder of the original Everquest crowd. For many people, it is easier to just leave and start over than to even bother addressing the issue of another's behavior.

I never wanted to be in charge of censoring other people's behavior or speech. What I didn't realize at the time, is that rather than trying to censor someone, I should have enacted policies never to recruit them in the first place. I would rather have been in a guild with the people who left than with the behavior problem that drove them out. Part of being a leader in this environment meant "protecting" people who were too timid or unwilling to confront others.

Everyone always starts their first new organization thinking that they are somehow different than everything else. Just like dotcoms thought they were a new breed of company, new guilds think that they are the only people to get it. The founders usually have some great vision that you can get by just by being nice to everyone. Reality is not so simple. The fact of the matter is that if you as a leader don't make the tough choices of who to recruit *and who to exclude*, those choices will be made for you. You cannot maintain a guild, and I suspect most social organizations, without an element of exclusion.